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Learning the Gifts of Imperfection

The Gifts of Imperfection

Too many people spend much of their time focused on being perfect. The fact is, perfection is kind of a myth. For one thing, what one person sees as perfect may be less than perfect to the next person, so it’s all subjective.

When you’re too busy striving for perfection, you’ll miss out on the other things in life. Brené Brown knew this and penned a book titled “ The Gifts of Imperfection.”

About the Gift of Imperfection

“The Gifts of Imperfection” is a book by professor and New York Times best-selling author Brené Brown. Within it’s encouraging pages, it is filled with inspiring words that offer a powerful look at life and how to cultivate the life you want to live.

Instead of focusing on being perfect, this book works to teach you to embrace your imperfections and find courage and compassion, while always knowing that you are enough just as you are right now.

The idea behind the book stems from the fact that every single day people are being told how they should love and how they should look. From television to magazines, men and women of all ages are told they’re just not good enough – they’re not skinny enough, not rich enough, not pretty enough, and not smart enough. When is enough enough?

So, instead of allowing these things to make you feel inadequate, Brown shares the steps she came up with to help people find a wholehearted life. There is a decade of research behind the ten guideposts in Brené BrownThe Gifts of Imperfection.”

These guideposts teach you how to engage your mind, body, and soul into bettering your life and being happy with who you are and what you accomplish each day.

You are worthy of love and happiness, even when you don’t meet your goals.

The Author – Brene Brown

Not only is Brené Brown an author, but she is also a research professor at the University of Houston, and she’s a storyteller (which you’ll learn if your Brené Brown).

She spent time collecting stories from both men and women, ages ranging from 18 to 87, to find patterns that would help her come up with the ingredients to a happy life – which comes through wholehearted living.

Embracing a Wholehearted Life

In her book “Daring Greatly,” Brown introduced the steps (10 of them) to wholehearted living. These steps include:

  • Being Authentic – In her lesson on cultivating authenticity, you learn to let go of what other people think of you.
  • Practicing Self-Compassion – Nobody is perfect, and you will not find happiness in life if you don’t let go of the need for it.
  • Be Creative – By cultivating creativity, you learn to be authentic and not compare yourself to others.
  • Become More Resilient – You are not powerless.
  • Allow Laughter In – Brown suggests letting go and singing and dancing.
  • Take Time for Rest and Play – Don’t overwork yourself. Allow time for relaxation and self-care.
  • Be Calm and Still – Anxiety is a negative thing, find time for stress-free living.
  • Trust Your Intuition – you need to have faith in your feelings and intuition. You don’t always need to know things “for sure.”
  • Be Grateful and Joyous – Let go of fear and be thankful for all of the great things life has to offer.
  • Do Meaningful Work – Strive to find your path and your true calling. Don’t rely on the things you believe you “have to” do.

You can view The Gifts of Imperfection PDF online and learn more about meaningful work and living a wholehearted life.

Brené Brown Vulnerability Quotes

If you’re on the look-out for a little more guidance on the path to embracing your imperfections, here are some Brené Brown quotes to help you find clarity, and maybe a little vulnerability:

“Those who have a strong sense of love and belonging have the courage to be imperfect.”

“Imperfections are not inadequacies; they are reminders that we’re all in this together.”

“If you can’t ask for help without self-judgment, you cannot offer help without judging others.”

“Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never weakness.”

“In order for connection to happen, we have to allow ourselves to be seen.”

“We don’t have to do all of it alone. We were never meant to.”

Love Your Imperfections

Take Brené Brown’s advice and learn to love even your flaws. Perfection isn’t something you can attain anyway, so why keep wasting time when you could be enjoying life?

We hope you take time to read “The Gifts of Imperfection” and to reflect on your own life. Hopefully, you’ll find meaningful work and a wholehearted life.

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An Introduction to the Sorensen Test

sorensen test

The Sorensen Self-Esteem test is one that is often mentioned in the same circles as the Rosenberg Self-Esteem Scale. The Sorenson test is the more comprehensive source when it comes to determining where your self-esteem is.

What Is the Sorensen Self-Esteem Test?

This particular self-esteem test was created by Dr. Marilyn J. Sorensen. Dr. Sorensen is a clinical psychologist, with over 32 years of experience. It was through her work with self-esteem issues that she came up with the questions and subtext for the Sorensen Test.

Dr. Sorensen has also authored several books on the subject of self-esteem, including “Breaking the Chain of Low Self-Esteem.” It was in this book that she first introduced the self-esteem test.

You may wonder how reliable her test is, but with that much experience, the Sorensen Self-Esteem Test reliability should be no question at all. Her website is full of indispensable information on not only how self- effects you, but how it can affect the people around you.

It’s important not to confuse the Sorensen Self-Esteem Test with the Biering-Sorensen Test, which is a test to determine the endurance of trunk extensor muscles. If you’re having lower back pain, you may be interested in that test and the Sorensen Equipment that is used to determine muscle strength.

What to Expect from the Sorensen Self-Esteem Test

This test, unlike the Rosenberg test, offers you 50 specific statements that you either mark or don’t. Those that describe you will get a check mark and those that don’t are simply ignored. If it describes you at all, mark it.

Once you’ve gone through all of the statements, you will be able to determine if you have fairly good, mildly low, moderately low, or severely low self-esteem. The fewer items you mark, the better your self-esteem is. 19 to 50 is severely low, 11 to 18 is moderate, and 5 to 10 is mild. Anything less than 5 and you’re OK when it comes to healthy self-esteem.

Some of the subjects brought up in the statements in this test include:

  • How critical you are of yourself, as well as other people
  • How often you may feel depressed
  • Whether or not you are able to trust people
  • Concerned about appearance or needing to be perfect
  • Not knowing what to say and worrying about saying the wrong thing and being judged or laughed at
  • Being embarrassed
  • Feeling deserving of mistreatment
  • A need to lie
  • Avoidance of change
  • Being defensive when someone criticizes you
  • Fear and anxiety
  • Negative thinking
  • A problem with procrastination
  • Avoiding conflict and not liking confrontation
  • Being too “sensitive”
  • Performance issue (sexually)
  • Whether you’re too secretive or too expressive
  • Childhood feelings
  • Whether you have a tendency to compare yourself to other people or not
  • How high your standards are
  • If you’re someone that spends a lot of time comparing yourself to others
  • You feel distrust toward others or think they’re taking advantage of you
  • How often you dwell on the negative
  • How often you dwell on the past, recent or distant
  • If you need someone else’s approval to make decisions
  • If you fear talking in groups or sharing your ideas with others
  • Worry about rejection or criticism
  • Feelings of incompetence
  • Discouraged easily

There are more subjects covered in this test. The statements delve into comfort alone, comfort around others and in crowds. They touch base on general feelings, thoughts, and outlooks.

There are also statements that delve into your childhood and events that happened then (like coming from a dysfunctional family).

How Reliable are Self-Esteem Tests?

Tests like the Rosenberg Self-Esteem Scale and the Sorensen Self-Esteem Test are reputable and reliable. They are backed up by science. They are used regularly by therapists and doctors.

When it comes to general self-esteem test you find online, those may not be as reliable. However, they can still give you a jumping point to start working on your self-esteem if you believe yours is low and the test agrees.

Why Take a Self-Esteem Test or a Sorensen Test?

This isn’t like one of those fun quizzes you take online to find out which character from your favorite movie you most relate to.

Self-esteem tests, even if you’re sure you have healthy self-esteem, are a good way to learn more about yourself. If you do have any signs of low self-esteem, the tests offer advise on how to boost your self-esteem to a healthier level.

Tips on How to Build Self-Esteem

how to build self esteem

There are many people out in the world that could use a healthy dose of self-esteem. When you feel like the world is always against and things are always going wrong, it could be your self-confidence is waning, and things may not really be as bad as you think they are.

You realize something is wrong, that something’s got to give, but you don’t know how to feel better. You need to learn tips on how to build confidence and self-esteem because those are the things that will help you back on the right path. Those are the things that will lead you to happiness.

So, you might be here because you searched, “How to build self-esteem” Let’s find out!

How to Build Self-Esteem and Why Building Self-Esteem Is Important

Self-esteem is synonymous with self-confidence. If you lack the right amount of confidence in yourself, it can be difficult to accomplish anything. If you have no faith in yourself or your abilities, you make it almost impossible for other people to believe in you too.

People with low self-esteem are less likely to be chosen for the job, or the raise. They may be passed over in romantic and platonic relationships.

There are signs of your low self-esteem, and people can see them – and they don’t tend to attract people, but rather repel them, or make them feel sorry for you (which just adds to your poor outlook on yourself.

You’ll be happier and more content with life when you have healthy self-esteem. You’ll spend less time (or no time at all) worrying about what other people think of you or whether or not you’re saying the right thing. You’ll be able to make decisions on your own and have confidence in those decisions.

How a Self-Esteem Test Can Help

If you don’t know yet where you stand on the scale of self-esteem, you can find a plethora of tests and quizzes online that will at least give you a remote idea where you are. Take a few of them to make sure you get the most accurate assessment of your level of self-esteem. Some tests are more accurate and more comprehensive than others.

The Sorensen Self-Esteem Test is a good one to start with, and it is an accurate assessment, without the gimmicks of many online quizzes. It’s as easy as checking off statements that describe you out of 50 sentences. How many you check will determine your level of self-esteem. The more lines you check, the lower your self-esteem.

Once you have an idea where your self-esteem level is, you can begin to do some things to raise that level, such as following the Six Pillars of Self-Esteem, where you will learn how to be assertive, how to accept yourself and accept responsibility for who you are, and more. There are ways to be happy in your own skin, and once you know you’re not, you can start the process.

How to Build Your Self-Esteem and Confidence

Once you are prepared with the knowledge that your self-esteem could use some work, you can use the following tips to build both your self-esteem and your confidence.

  • Ditch the Negative Self-Talk – When you have that voice inside your head telling you that you’re stupid or worthless, or that people don’t like you, shut it down. This can, of course, sometimes be easier said than done, but you can use positive thoughts and affirmations to kick those doubtful thoughts to the curb.
  • Determine the Causes – Have you looked within, or around you, to see what things are causing this negative outlook on yourself? Other people can contribute to your lack of confidence just as much as you do internally. What are the things you’re unhappy with in your life? What can you do to change these things?
  • Be assertive – Don’t let people bully you or use you as a doormat. Get good at expressing your honest feelings, but be genuine with them and not rude. You deserve the things you want, and it’s time you realized that.
  • Be Positivity Focused – Do your best to see the good in all things, including yourself. You jump the hurdles of stress much faster with positivity and gratitude. In fact, you should start a gratitude journal to remind yourself that there are millions of things you can find gratitude in each day, no matter how tiny they are.
  • Practice Self-Care – Part of expressive self-love is taking care of yourself. Taking a shower, brushing your teeth, combing your hair, and putting on clean clothes can sometimes be all it really takes to begin to lift your mood. Do it.

Take Control of Your Self-Esteem

In the long run, you are the one in control of how you feel about yourself and how you choose to show yourself to the rest of the world. That’s how to build self-esteem.

Always try your best, put your “best” foot forward and don’t forget to love yourself.

All About Self-Esteem Tests

self esteem tests

Self-esteem tests can be found all over the place when you do online searches. They are mentioned in books about confidence and self-esteem.

They are mainly out there for people with a lack of confidence, but they can be interesting for anyone with an interest in psychology or human behavior.

What’s in the Tests?

These tests require you to answer some pretty basic questions about yourself, including the following topics–

  • Feelings of inferiority
  • Worries about how other people see you
  • Sensitivity to criticism
  • Comfort conversing with others
  • Nervousness around others
  • Worries about fitting in
  • Your thoughts about yourself, positive and negative
  • Your overall satisfaction with yourself
  • How you treat yourself when you feel you’ve done something wrong
  • Your ability to accept compliments
  • Whether you practice self-care
  • If you have anxiety

These questions help the tests determine what your level of self-esteem is. Once you know, you can determine whether or not you need to start working on your confidence. You may get a better understanding of yourself.

The tests ask you to mark how often you experience something, or agree with that particular statement, or what degree you relate to the statement or question.

Determining Self-Esteem

For you to be able to find out whether or not you have self-esteem issues, you need to look deeper into yourself.

That’s how these tests come in handy – they make you look at the things that you may normally be too uncomfortable to look at. Not everyone wants to admit, even to themselves, that they don’t take criticism well or feel nervous when put on the spot.

Different Self-Esteem Tests

There are many different tests to help you determine where your self-esteem level is. A self-esteem scale can help you figure out if you have high self-esteem, low self-esteem, or if your self-esteem level is healthy.

Here’s a guide to some of the self-esteem tests you can find online.

1. Rosenberg Self-Esteem Scale

The Rosenberg Self-Esteem Scale is one of the most popular self-esteem scales. You can take a free version of it online. It was created by Dr. Morris Rosenberg, a sociologist. 

When you take this test, you’ll get a number from 0-30, which determines where your self-esteem is on the scale. Anything below 15 shows you may have low self-esteem. 20-25 is healthy.

When you take any of these tests, including this one, you don’t want to overthink your answer – go with your first instinct.

2. Low Self-Esteem Test Online

Other tests that can determine low self-esteem follow many of the general principals of the Rosenberg Scale. They use similar questions.

Here are some to check out if you’re interested in evaluating your self-esteem on an even deeper level:

  • How Low Is Your Self-Esteem? – This test is from Beliefnet. Instead of a scale, this quiz asks you to pick a scenario that most fits what you would do in a situation. After 15 questions you get a message letting you know what you could do to better your life, like being more assertive.
  • How’s Your Self-Esteem? – The Kid’s Health self-esteem test gives you a tidbit on your self-esteem levels with each answer you give on six questions. Strong Self, Getting There, and Needs Work are the results, and at the end, it will show you a culmination of what you viewed during the test.
  • Psychology Today Self-Esteem TestThis test is similar to the Rosenberg Scale. If you want a test from a reputable source, this is a good option.
  • Psych Central Tests – While there is no specific test on the Psychcentral website for a self-esteem test, it is a great site to learn all you can about mental health. Check out the quizzes they do have.

These are just a few of the self-esteem tests you’ll find with a Google search.

They are some of the most reputable choices if you’re curious about your self-esteem levels. Each will also give you tips on how to get a rise in your self-esteem if you find out you’re low on the scale.

Why Healthy Self-Esteem Is Important

If you want a life of confidence and success, you need to develop healthy self-esteem.

You don’t have to be an outgoing, social butterfly, but you do need to be confident in yourself and let other people see that you believe in yourself and your skills. If you don’t believe in yourself how can you expect anyone else to?

7 Self-Love Books Everyone Should Read

self love books

Self-help books seem to be one of those book genres that people either love or hate, there is no in between. The thing is, there are so many self-help books out there that could make a real difference if you read them.

Within self-help there are many smaller sub-genres you can get into, depending on where you need the help. Each of these books has information in it that can help you learn to love yourself again.

What Is Self-Love?

Self-love allows you to accept yourself, love yourself. It reminds you to take care of yourself and the importance of you being you. Self-love is not an act of selfishness. Instead, it’s caring for yourself, nurturing yourself, and loving yourself.

Self-love boosts your mood and your confidence. Self-love means less anxiety and more happiness. The thing is, it needs to be unconditional – you need to love even your flaws.

Creating Self-Love Books

If you want to love yourself, find happiness, discover your true path, and maybe even reach enlightenment, here are a few self-love books that can help you on the way.

1. Awaken the Giant Within

Awaken the Giant Within is a book that teaches you how to take control of your life. When you’re in control, it’s much easier to accept yourself and love yourself. The author, Tony Robbins, has been helping people be successful for more than 30 years.

In this book, you will learn to be in control of your emotions, your money, your relationships, and your life in general.

2. The Secret

Rhonda Byrne’s The Secret first came out in 2006 and quickly became a bestseller. It did this because it was a book that was teaching people how to attain the lives they wanted – whether they wanted wealth, happiness, or love.

Now it’s no longer a secret that you can turn your thoughts into things and get the things in life you want. Why this book is in a list of books that teach self-love is because you have to have faith in yourself in order to use the lessons in The Secret, and to do that you need to be confident in yourself.

3. The Road Less Traveled

The Road Less Traveled, by Dr. M. Scott Peck, is a book that impacts intellectual and spiritual lives. It’s a book that takes you on the path to exploring what love really is, and how loving relationships can help you live a full life.

It reminds you that even though life is difficult, there is happiness and joy to be had. Find the means to love yourself, and find your true self.

4. The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem

Nathaniel Branden’s book on boosting your self-esteem is a self-love book that everyone should read. The pillars of self-esteem can make changes to your personal and professional life.

Inside this book you learn how to be healthier (mind, body, and soul) and happier. You’ll also learn how to create positive and healthy relationships, not just romantically, but professionally as well.

5. Many Lives, Many Masters

Dr. Brian Weiss, a psychotherapist, created this bestseller that explores a true case of past-life regression. It was in his work with a patient that he learned that past-life regression was a reality, and through past-life therapy, people could treat anxiety, depression, and other illnesses.

If you’ve ever suffered from anxiety, you know that it can be hard to treat, even with medications. This book may open you up to a new treatment that could help you. You could let go of the memories from your past lives that are affecting your current life. By balancing, you can find peace and self-love.

6. The Gifts of Imperfection

Brené Brown is a best-selling author that created this inspiring book, The Gifts of Imperfection, in which readers can learn how to accept themselves just the way they are. That is the exact way you will find self-love – by accepting yourself, imperfections and all.

In her self-love book, Brown teachers her readers that they are enough and that they are worthy of love. If you have trouble loving yourself, start your path to Wholehearted Living with this amazing tome on self-acceptance.

7. Reconnecting With Yourself

Reconnecting With Yourself is one of the newest books on this list. It’s a book by Yvonne Glasgow, a Holistic Life Coach and Spiritual Counselor that has a passion for seeking enlightenment. This book is a guide simple guide to help you find your true self.

This book uses things like the power of positive thinking, art therapy, and nature therapy to assist the reader in getting back on the right path, even after major life disasters like divorce and job loss.

Start Your Self-Help Book Collection

Whether you’re looking for self-help books for women or you need self-help books for men, or you want self-love books that can be used by anyone, no matter what gender they identify with – these six books will assist you in getting on the right track to a happier and more content life.

Start your collection today.

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