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The Importance of Boosting Self-Esteem for Teens

self esteem for teens

Being a teenager will always be a difficult time in life. Teenagers are stuck in the middle of childhood and adulthood, and that can cause all kind of problems for them.

From puberty to romance, the teen years of a human are a whirlwind of emotions and changes. Building self esteem for teens is important.

Self-Esteem for Teens

It's no wonder teens suffer from depression and low self-esteem. If they get good grades and focus on school, they get made fun of by their peers for being too smart and focused. If they get poor grades, they get in trouble with their parents for not doing well and not trying hard enough.

How is a teen to win? Well, it takes a few things, including knowing why self-esteem is important in this part of human development and knowing how it can negatively affect you at this range of ages.

1. Why Is Self-Esteem for Teens Important?

Teenagers with healthy self-esteem are more likely to be joiners. They like to try things and learn new things. With low self-esteem, teenagers are more likely to be loners and sit out on things that could have helped them learn something new or grow as a person.

While to many people, low self-esteem may seem like a normal teenage trait, it shouldn't be. All humans deserve a healthy outlook on themselves and on life in general.

Teens with a healthy self-concept are more independent, they like to take on responsibilities, they are happy with their accomplishments, they get less frustrated, and they like to be challenged. Teens with higher self-esteem deal better with depression and negative emotions.

2. What are the Effects of Low Self-Esteem?

Here's the part where you learn why low self-esteem shouldn't be just a normal part of life. The effects of this lack of confidence and self-love can be life-long.

Teens with low self-esteem may not make friends as easily, or at all. They can find it difficult to build relationships and interact with other people. They just don't feel good about themselves, and it makes them prefer being alone and feel awkward when they are around others.

Teens with low self-esteem may be depressed, have anger issues, and have anxiety. They have less motivation. Sometimes they'll rely on things like sex and alcohol to make them feel wanted.

4. What Causes Low Self-Esteem in Teens?

For many teens, low self-esteem is caused by internal doubts and how they react to external stimuli. They could feel neglected by their parents or feel like they're always be criticized by the adults in their life.

Teens that suffer from abuse, traumatic events like the divorce of their parents, and bullying from peers are more likely to have low self-esteem and depression. Unchecked medical issues, like ADHD and Autism, can also have an effect on self-esteem.

How to Know if Your Teen has Low Self-Esteem

If you notice your teen seems to be down and not interested in things, this could be a sign of low self-esteem, among other things. Low self-esteem shares its signs in symptoms with depression as well.

If your teen is exhibiting the following signs, talk to them and have them talk to a doctor –

  • They lack interest in things they once enjoyed.
  • They play the blame game – someone else is always at fault for their mistakes.
  • They just don't seem to care.
  • They tend to feel like no one likes them or wants them around.
  • They have bouts of anger, instead of properly dealing with frustrations.
  • They're often comparing themselves to others.
  • They don't seem to have any friends, whether they've pushed them all away or just can't seem to make any.
  • They don't speak up – they are afraid they'll say the wrong thing
  • They seem to prefer to spend as much time as they can alone, often hiding in their room.
  • They don't have the motivation to do daily chores.

Raising daughters and sons pose different issues for parents, but teens are teens. That's why, no matter what orientation your child is, you need to be working on helping them be confident and assured of themselves.

How to Boost Self-Confidence in Teens

Boosting self-confidence in teens isn't that much different than in adults.

Use self-esteem worksheets for teens with tips on being positive and practicing assertiveness. Do team building activities for teens with them that allow them to bond better with other people and feel more confident about their abilities.

Learning What Motivates Your Child

what motivates your child

Motivation is the reason you do something. It's the spark you need to get the job done. It's the magic lightbulb above your head that inspires you.

Motivation is such a natural thing, but some people lack in it. Sometimes it's just lacking for a little while, and sometimes it can seem like it's never there.

Children can find motivation hard to come by, especially when they need to be motivated to do things they really don't want to. In this blog, we’ll work on learning what motivates your child.

What Motivates a Child?

When it comes to what motivates your child, examples can differ. Different kids need different motivators. It starts by knowing your child and considering their interests. Children can be driven by the things they want – like a new toy or a chance to see their favorite upcoming movie in the theater.

What does not motivate (at least not in a healthy way) children is yelling at them or threatening them. This raises fearful, not motivated, kids. Instead of putting punishments into place when it comes to motivating your kids, consider rewards that will teach them to enjoy the things they may not be as motivated to do.

Motivating Your Child

There are different things children need motivation for. Some kids may love to do homework, while others may put it off so much that they're failing school because of it. Chores are similar – some kids make them fun, some do everything they can to avoid them.

Here are some areas where your children may need motivation, and tips on how to get them up and moving. Remember, motivation for kids needs to come from somewhere positive if you want them to learn and find internal motivation.

1. How to Get Motivated to Do Homework

When it comes to homework, unless your child loves the subject they have school work on, it could be harder for them to get going. They may want to do everything but their homework. When they do have other things they want to do, you can use that in motivating them.

Child motivation perpetuated by offering the child something in return for their efforts. To get them to do their homework when they get home, set a ritual in which they get to do something they enjoy if their homework is done by a specific time.

Not only are you offering them an award, but you are also teaching them time management skills that they will be able take with them into the careers they have as adults.

2. How to Get Motivated to Do Chores

Chores are no fun, but if you use them as a lesson in teaching your children about work ethic, you may be able to get them to do them when you want them done. Set schedules and pay them for the work they do. Sure, they may get free meals and a roof over their heads at no cost, but paying them for the work they do will help them appreciate the lesson a little more.

3. How to Get Motivated to Participate

Not all kids show interest in extracurricular activities, but these activities can teach them teamwork and responsibility. It's because of the important lessons in these activities that you should consider motivating your kids to join.

Some of the ways you may find to get them to participate in clubs and sports is to tell them about the places they'll get to travel or the people they may get to meet. If they see rewards, they'll be more interested in participating. Don't force them though – clubs and sports aren't for everyone.

4. Other Ways to Get Motivated

Rewards, monetary or otherwise, aren't the only things that get kids to do the things they may not be motivated to do. One thing that can really help is to talk to your kids – tell them about all of the benefits of the thing you want them to do and talk about it meaningfully.

It also helps to be willing to do some of these things with them. Kids are more likely to be OK with washing the dishes a couple of times each week if they see their parents doing them once in a while too. Lead by example.

Be Their Biggest Cheerleader

Sometimes all it takes for anyone to get motivated to complete a task is a little appreciation. Make sure your kids know you love them and that you appreciate when they help out. Let them know you're proud of their successes and that you still love them even during their failures.

Tips on How to Handle Criticism

how to handle criticism
Boss reproaching one of employees after work

Criticism isn't something everyone is a fan of, but it's an important part of the growing process in life and in work. Without criticism, you wouldn't know if you were doing things right or how you can go about making the changes you need to be more successful.

Of course, there's constructive criticism and negative criticism – so it's important to understand both. And, how to handle criticism when it happens.

What Is Criticism?

When you criticize someone, you are letting them know that you don't approve of something they've done. It could be the exact thing they did, the process they went to get there, or something else. Essentially, you are pointing out someone's flaws and mistakes.

When you do this in an over-critical manner, it is negative criticism. In this way, you don't offer any advice on how the person can make a valid improvement – you just want to tell them they're wrong and maybe make them inferior.

The positive side of criticism, constructive criticism, is to make careful judgments of someone or something. You may criticize something someone did, but you do it tactfully, and you give them an explanation of what they did wrong, possibly followed up with some advice on how to improve.

Giving Criticism

When it comes to giving criticism, tact is an important thing to remember. Tact is a way of being sensitive with difficult topics, and being criticized is definitely difficult to deal with for some people. In fact, giving and receiving criticism can be a hard pill to swallow.

The key to giving criticism is to make sure you're doing it in a constructive manner. You don't want your employees to feel useless and quit just because they need a little more training, right? Here are some ways to better give out criticism.

1. Tone of Voice

Watch how you say things. Tone and inflection can change the entire outlook on your critique of someone. While you can do this if you're messaging someone online with a critique, you should pay attention to what you say and how you say it in person.

Be constructive, not rude. When you're offering something like severe criticism, find a way to point out some of the things the person did right, as well as ways they can improve. You want them to understand what they did wrong, not feel ashamed and degraded for their mistakes.

2. Chosen Words

The right words will make a difference as well. Find kind, motivational words that show them they can do better next time. “You made a mistake here, but had you done things this way you'd have avoided that mistake.” Don't swear. Don't talk to them like they're a child.

3. Offer Suggestions

Constructive criticism means that you are offering suggestions to help the person out – you're not just telling them they did something wrong. Constructive criticism examples include showing someone how to properly do something, taking them through the steps of how they did what they did wrong, and offering to help them be more successful as they move forward.

How to Handle Constructive Criticism and Negative Criticism

If you feel like you're under constant criticism, you're probably wondering how to deal with it. You need to know how to handle criticism that is constructive and criticism that isn't so constructive.

  • Assertiveness – When it comes to negative criticism, learn flaws and mistakes. You don't deserve to be bullied at home or at work, so voice your opinion when someone is coming off rude with their critique. Ask them to be more helpful and go over the issues with you.
  • Expect It – Everyone is bound to face criticism at some point in their life. Be ready for it so that it doesn't surprise you. Take the points that are offered to you and implement them as (or if) you see fit.

Depending on where the criticism is coming from and in what capacity, you have every right to keep doing things your own way. When you're criticized by a friend for your life choices, their opinions don't make them right and doesn't make their advice right for you in your particular situation.

Weigh the info you're given and do what's right for you.

Why Criticism Is Needed

Not all criticism is bad, and it helps to learn to take the good with the bad. Once you master how to deal with criticism, it can be easier to keep moving on with your day when someone has told you that you're doing it all wrong.

Learning the Gifts of Imperfection

The Gifts of Imperfection

Too many people spend much of their time focused on being perfect. The fact is, perfection is kind of a myth. For one thing, what one person sees as perfect may be less than perfect to the next person, so it's all subjective.

When you're too busy striving for perfection, you'll miss out on the other things in life. Brené Brown knew this and penned a book titled “ The Gifts of Imperfection.”

About the Gift of Imperfection

“The Gifts of Imperfection” is a book by professor and New York Times best-selling author Brené Brown. Within it's encouraging pages, it is filled with inspiring words that offer a powerful look at life and how to cultivate the life you want to live.

Instead of focusing on being perfect, this book works to teach you to embrace your imperfections and find courage and compassion, while always knowing that you are enough just as you are right now.

The idea behind the book stems from the fact that every single day people are being told how they should love and how they should look. From television to magazines, men and women of all ages are told they're just not good enough – they're not skinny enough, not rich enough, not pretty enough, and not smart enough. When is enough enough?

So, instead of allowing these things to make you feel inadequate, Brown shares the steps she came up with to help people find a wholehearted life. There is a decade of research behind the ten guideposts in Brené BrownThe Gifts of Imperfection.”

These guideposts teach you how to engage your mind, body, and soul into bettering your life and being happy with who you are and what you accomplish each day.

You are worthy of love and happiness, even when you don't meet your goals.

The Author – Brene Brown

Not only is Brené Brown an author, but she is also a research professor at the University of Houston, and she's a storyteller (which you'll learn if your Brené Brown).

She spent time collecting stories from both men and women, ages ranging from 18 to 87, to find patterns that would help her come up with the ingredients to a happy life – which comes through wholehearted living.

Embracing a Wholehearted Life

In her book “Daring Greatly,” Brown introduced the steps (10 of them) to wholehearted living. These steps include:

  • Being Authentic – In her lesson on cultivating authenticity, you learn to let go of what other people think of you.
  • Practicing Self-Compassion – Nobody is perfect, and you will not find happiness in life if you don't let go of the need for it.
  • Be Creative – By cultivating creativity, you learn to be authentic and not compare yourself to others.
  • Become More Resilient – You are not powerless.
  • Allow Laughter In – Brown suggests letting go and singing and dancing.
  • Take Time for Rest and Play – Don't overwork yourself. Allow time for relaxation and self-care.
  • Be Calm and Still – Anxiety is a negative thing, find time for stress-free living.
  • Trust Your Intuition – you need to have faith in your feelings and intuition. You don't always need to know things “for sure.”
  • Be Grateful and Joyous – Let go of fear and be thankful for all of the great things life has to offer.
  • Do Meaningful Work – Strive to find your path and your true calling. Don't rely on the things you believe you “have to” do.

You can view The Gifts of Imperfection PDF online and learn more about meaningful work and living a wholehearted life.

Brené Brown Vulnerability Quotes

If you're on the look-out for a little more guidance on the path to embracing your imperfections, here are some Brené Brown quotes to help you find clarity, and maybe a little vulnerability:

“Those who have a strong sense of love and belonging have the courage to be imperfect.”

“Imperfections are not inadequacies; they are reminders that we’re all in this together.”

“If you can’t ask for help without self-judgment, you cannot offer help without judging others.”

“Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never weakness.”

“In order for connection to happen, we have to allow ourselves to be seen.”

“We don't have to do all of it alone. We were never meant to.”

Love Your Imperfections

Take Brené Brown's advice and learn to love even your flaws. Perfection isn't something you can attain anyway, so why keep wasting time when you could be enjoying life?

We hope you take time to read “The Gifts of Imperfection” and to reflect on your own life. Hopefully, you’ll find meaningful work and a wholehearted life.

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An Introduction to the Sorensen Test

sorensen test

The Sorensen Self-Esteem test is one that is often mentioned in the same circles as the Rosenberg Self-Esteem Scale. The Sorenson test is the more comprehensive source when it comes to determining where your self-esteem is.

What Is the Sorensen Self-Esteem Test?

This particular self-esteem test was created by Dr. Marilyn J. Sorensen. Dr. Sorensen is a clinical psychologist, with over 32 years of experience. It was through her work with self-esteem issues that she came up with the questions and subtext for the Sorensen Test.

Dr. Sorensen has also authored several books on the subject of self-esteem, including “Breaking the Chain of Low Self-Esteem.” It was in this book that she first introduced the self-esteem test.

You may wonder how reliable her test is, but with that much experience, the Sorensen Self-Esteem Test reliability should be no question at all. Her website is full of indispensable information on not only how self- effects you, but how it can affect the people around you.

It's important not to confuse the Sorensen Self-Esteem Test with the Biering-Sorensen Test, which is a test to determine the endurance of trunk extensor muscles. If you're having lower back pain, you may be interested in that test and the Sorensen Equipment that is used to determine muscle strength.

What to Expect from the Sorensen Self-Esteem Test

This test, unlike the Rosenberg test, offers you 50 specific statements that you either mark or don't. Those that describe you will get a check mark and those that don't are simply ignored. If it describes you at all, mark it.

Once you've gone through all of the statements, you will be able to determine if you have fairly good, mildly low, moderately low, or severely low self-esteem. The fewer items you mark, the better your self-esteem is. 19 to 50 is severely low, 11 to 18 is moderate, and 5 to 10 is mild. Anything less than 5 and you're OK when it comes to healthy self-esteem.

Some of the subjects brought up in the statements in this test include:

  • How critical you are of yourself, as well as other people
  • How often you may feel depressed
  • Whether or not you are able to trust people
  • Concerned about appearance or needing to be perfect
  • Not knowing what to say and worrying about saying the wrong thing and being judged or laughed at
  • Being embarrassed
  • Feeling deserving of mistreatment
  • A need to lie
  • Avoidance of change
  • Being defensive when someone criticizes you
  • Fear and anxiety
  • Negative thinking
  • A problem with procrastination
  • Avoiding conflict and not liking confrontation
  • Being too “sensitive”
  • Performance issue (sexually)
  • Whether you're too secretive or too expressive
  • Childhood feelings
  • Whether you have a tendency to compare yourself to other people or not
  • How high your standards are
  • If you're someone that spends a lot of time comparing yourself to others
  • You feel distrust toward others or think they're taking advantage of you
  • How often you dwell on the negative
  • How often you dwell on the past, recent or distant
  • If you need someone else's approval to make decisions
  • If you fear talking in groups or sharing your ideas with others
  • Worry about rejection or criticism
  • Feelings of incompetence
  • Discouraged easily

There are more subjects covered in this test. The statements delve into comfort alone, comfort around others and in crowds. They touch base on general feelings, thoughts, and outlooks.

There are also statements that delve into your childhood and events that happened then (like coming from a dysfunctional family).

How Reliable are Self-Esteem Tests?

Tests like the Rosenberg Self-Esteem Scale and the Sorensen Self-Esteem Test are reputable and reliable. They are backed up by science. They are used regularly by therapists and doctors.

When it comes to general self-esteem test you find online, those may not be as reliable. However, they can still give you a jumping point to start working on your self-esteem if you believe yours is low and the test agrees.

Why Take a Self-Esteem Test or a Sorensen Test?

This isn't like one of those fun quizzes you take online to find out which character from your favorite movie you most relate to.

Self-esteem tests, even if you're sure you have healthy self-esteem, are a good way to learn more about yourself. If you do have any signs of low self-esteem, the tests offer advise on how to boost your self-esteem to a healthier level.

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